Posted by Dinah on August 13, 2006, at 13:43:57
In reply to I’m a big fat pervert, posted by Tamar on August 12, 2006, at 21:49:18
It's ok to be attracted to others. It's ok to be attracted to older others or younger others. It's ok to be attracted to the fathers of friends.
It's ok to feel anything you feel.
The truth is that you did resist the temptation. You might think it's only because he didn't give you an opening, but you didn't force an opening either. It's useless to speculate on what you might have done.
Yes, you are responsible for your actions. I don't know your arrangement with your husband, or how Kate would feel about your being involved with her father. But I'm reasonable sure that you would take responsibility for any consequences of any of your actions. You're taking responsibility for the consequences already, even though nothing happened.
Isn't it more useful to take the judgement out of your assessment of the situation, and just acknowledge that there would likely be unpleasant consequences to some of the choices you could make? That's true about everything. We all have impulses from time to time to do things that could have negative consequences. Everything from imagining quitting your job to fiddling with the radio while you're driving.
In the meantime, you can have as many pleasurable fantasies about your friend's father as you wish, without hurting a single soul. And there's nothing perverted about that.
poster:Dinah
thread:675949
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060808/msgs/676045.html