Posted by Karolina on July 30, 2006, at 17:33:46
I know other people have written before about when a T leaves for a vacation and how painful that can be. Well my T is about to go on a 2 week vacation...2 weeks!!! But I feel pathetic for freaking out about it.
My problem is that anytime he is away, I start to think really really negatively about the relationship. I begin to face the reality of that I am really only an hour out of his week and that's it. I am nothing else to him in his real life. I also feel threatened while he's away, I'll start to search for new therapists on google as if I'm planning the next time I see him, to tell him to kiss my a$$ and that I'm leaving. And I start to wonder if it really is so healthy for me to care so much about him, sometimes it feels to the point of obsession, when I've been told that the therapists themselves should never become an issue. One of my mother's friends who works in the mental health field once suggested that maybe I suffer from some symptoms of borderline personality disorder, but I don't really know what that even is.
So I guess I'm trying to figure out if these feelings would be important to express, like maybe they can help me when it comes to other relationships in real life. But sometimes I don't get how all that's supposed to really work. I'm starting to act towards him as I did my ex-boyfriend and I don't see anything good coming from it. It sometimes makes me feel even worse...
I really want to keep my relationship with my T, but I guess I am just feeling really frustrated with myself for being so over-emotional about him. I'd be mortified if he knew how much he means to me. I don't really know what I'm saying...but I feel so miserable right now. I miss him already.
-Karolina-
poster:Karolina
thread:672069
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060721/msgs/672069.html