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Re: I love my shrink (***trigger***) » Tamar

Posted by Dinah on July 27, 2006, at 15:38:27

In reply to I love my shrink (***trigger***), posted by Tamar on July 25, 2006, at 19:11:32

Ok, I think I've sorted out my thoughts.

My gut reaction is a sort of shriek that no part of you should ever be put aside in order for you to be acceptable for anyone. That that part of you is valuable and deserves respect and love.

But my brain reaction is that your therapist just didn't handle the feelings that part of you brought to therapy, not through any fault of his own but just due to the training bias in your area. And that given that, it might be wise to protect that part of you from the pain.

Is there some compromise available? In addition of course to being lovingly open to your eighteen year old, sympathizing with her pain, and allowing her freedom to express herself with you.

Could you convince her from a totally pragmatic angle that there are some approaches he responds better to than others, and she really deserves the chance to express herself, but maybe, for totally pragmatic reasons, she should practice ways that will elicit the best responses for her purposes?

While all the time admitting that it's just not fair that life should be this way, and you wish it didn't have to be so. But that admitting that it *is* so doesn't make it so, or show approval of it being so. It just recognizes the facts and in recognizing the facts, chooses the best approach to getting what she wants.

 

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