Posted by ElaineM on July 27, 2006, at 10:22:12
In reply to Re: I love my shrink (***trigger***) » ElaineM, posted by Tamar on July 26, 2006, at 18:55:20
>I feel as if I’m asking him for nourishment but I’m asking for the wrong thing:
>
> Me: I’d really like some apple pie.
> T: I can give you rice.
> Me: Rice would be OK, but afterwards what I want most is apple pie.
> T: I don’t think it’s helpful for you to eat apple pie. But you can have some rice.
> Me: What about a potato?
> T: I don’t cook potatoes. But I have made a big bowl of rice. Here’s a spoon.
> Me: Thanks for the rice. Can we talk about why I want apple pie?
> T: Shut up and eat your rice.Tamar, this part made me laugh -- it's so perfect. Though I'm not making light of what you're expressing -- it's just a great description. Makes me want to say, "I've had my fill of rice right now. If you give me any more I'll be sick", or "I worked hard, I've eaten your rice before, it's great, it's hit the spot before, but I feel like I deserve some apple pie for dessert." And then maybe I'd also throw in, "Whoa! Why are you so against apple pie. You wouldn't have to have some yourself, but why are you so hesitant to talk about it. It makes me wonder what underlying issues YOU have with apple pie"............Anyways, now that I've run your analogy into the ground. I know it would sound weird but do you think you'd ever read that little skit to him, saying this is what the 18yrold feels -- it's just so accurate, and innocent, and honest. Maybe he wouldn't be so quick to deflect something that sounded so completely non-treatening, yet still expressed what you want to get across.
>>> So far my attempts at testing him have met with no response at all. He just deflects me. I wish I could get my adult self in there to leap to the 18 year-old’s defence when that happens…
Yes, you're situation does sound as though it gets really frustrating. I remember the whole "game playing" exchange that you both talked about awhile ago. (that was you right?) And then when he brings up the 18yr. at the end of a session...I just wonder if he realizes how toying his actions might seem -- how he seems to initiate and then withdraw completely (his evasiveness) and not let you continue and get responses to the subject he seems to bring up. He must be unaware of doing it, or at least unaware of how it only makes the frustration and the needing of an answer even bigger. I kinda blathered on here, but maybe you could ask him what he thinks of this idea.
I just don't know if he'll ever not give the circular T-talk. I don't really know what to tell you. Do you see him again before your holiday?
poster:ElaineM
thread:670462
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060721/msgs/671059.html