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Re: worried... trigger? llrrrpp

Posted by sunnydays on July 24, 2006, at 21:55:58

In reply to Re: worried... sunnydays, posted by llrrrpp on July 24, 2006, at 21:46:26

Thanks llrrrp. I think you're right. These feelings are SOOOOOOOO powerful, and I am not used to feeling anything at all, period, so it's really hard. And I kind of already brought it up, because I sent him an email, but he won't reply until our next session. I just hate feeling so absolutely desperate like this, because I don't know what to do with myself. I want to hurt myself just to give the pain some purpose, but I won't. I hurt myself accidentally jumping over a fence this weekend, so that hurts enough. I'm just not so good with feelings. I really want to be, but I'm still too scared of them. Bad things have happened in the past when I've allowed myself to feel. But I have to keep reminding myself it wasn't because I allowed myself to feel, but because the people I was with were too screwed up to handle it.

I really want to cry. I just can't. And I hate that feeling where the tears sit behind your eyes and won't come out no matter what.

Thank you for responding.





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