Posted by Jost on July 20, 2006, at 14:04:13
In reply to Re: Struggling (big trigger), posted by pegasus on July 20, 2006, at 11:13:17
Hi, Daisy. I know a little about where you are-- in a way.
I've been very close to suicide at one point, and of course, I don't know if this is how it is for you.
For me, it came down to whether there was anything in life that I couldn't turn my back on, couldn't quite give up on, or completely let go. Anything that I just needed to do, no matter what.
For me, there was. In the final analysis.
So I couldn't take that step, even though it seemed as if it would end the pain. It wasn't because anyone needed me, or would suffer because of my choice. Any moral qualm, any idea there was anything beyond my personal experience in whatever here and now I had.
Even if my need to do this thing didn't make any particular sense to me. It just was there.
I have a feeling there something like that for you, because you've come through before, and there's a reason you did it, even if it's a reason that only you know.