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Re: Projective identification stands up/ recognize daisym

Posted by gardenergirl on July 6, 2006, at 15:46:37

In reply to Re: Projective identification stands up/ recognize, posted by daisym on July 2, 2006, at 15:38:14

> I'm wondering if this is a purely negative concept. I've been around people who make me feel better about myself or make me think I'm more capable than I am...and I like that. But I am inclined then to do the same for them.

It's not purely negative, it can be positive feelings about the self that the person finds intolerable and thus they project/inject them into you. I am not sure I've ever experienced that. But then, it's probably harder to identify if someone is doing this, because it probably feels good. I suppose a way to identify it would be if you started acting much more self-important and full of self-love to an extent that feels quite out of character for you. If rage is intense anger, what would be the corollary for feeling good about oneself? Maybe narcissism or grandiosity? I don't know.

But I also think that being around caring people who accept us as we are feels pretty good. My guess is that's what you do for them, and they probably do for you, since you're certainly beautiful and valuable just as you are. :)
> I "identify" with this concept because I do it myself around anger. My therapist has long said that I hand over my anger to my husband (or him) and then I'm upset at the anger being flung back at me. Holding onto it myself is too hard.

Especially if feeling angry is equated with "bad me" thoughts and feelings. Which is not uncommon for little girls, who are you know, made of "sugar and spice and everything nice" as opposed to "snips and snails and puppy dogs' tails." Talk about sexism! :)

> I'm telling ya - we'd all be better without a psyche...

Sometimes I agree. At least if we could have a volume switch...





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