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talked to him **trigger?** llrrrpp

Posted by ElaineM on July 2, 2006, at 11:23:05

In reply to Re: he's not calling back! ****trigger drugs**** llrrrpp, posted by llrrrpp on July 1, 2006, at 21:37:47

LL, Muff, HappyF: Thanks for keeping me company last night. I needed distraction pretty badly. I was talking to my T today. He was still away and his cell didn't work out there. He was so sorry. He apoligized alot. We'll stay in contact today, but I'll wait until tomorrow to see him as usual. He's going to look up info on rehab centers.

My sister and I are going to my brother today to talk to him, with my parents and two other family members. It's going to be a mess but what else is there to do? I barely ever speak to my parents, and my sister and them hate each other and never even usually say "hi". I don't know how anything productive can possibly come of this. But we've never gone through something like this before. I've done inpatient for eating, but chemicals are so different. I just have no hope at all. He thinks he's okay. His rages are so frightening. He's so young and defiant, and has grown up so un-parented. I should've done more, but I used to get in so much trouble when I "interfered" that way.

I just about give up. It never ends. There's worse cr@p to worry about than a T touching me, or loving me too much, or whatever. I can't take anything else. I feel like one more thing and I'll implode. If someone said Boo I think I'd start bawling. If I stubbed my toe, or dropped a dish, I'd probably SI. I can't take all this. I just want to make it through this afternoon without going mad.

But thanks for last night, it kept me safe (and made me laugh)

you helped, EL




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poster:ElaineM thread:662694