Posted by daisym on June 19, 2006, at 14:57:22
In reply to I'm afraid, posted by Dinah on June 19, 2006, at 1:25:56
Me too. So I can totally empathize. But you know what? Sometimes fear can be used as a powerful motivator. As can anger. Reflected or not, it is what you are feeling. And it is hugely justifiable.
Change is hard. Look at me...I wake up every day and wonder what the hell I think I'm doing. I look at my husband's fine and useful qualities. And this little voice says, "it wasn't so bad." But a louder voice says, "I'm tired of hurting."
Listen the the louder voice, Dinah. You can love someone and still leave them. You can appreciate them at their best and be sadly aware that you just can't take their worst. It is OK to save yourself, so I'm being told. You aren't too needy.
And I don't think it is unrealistic to expect that your therapist provide you with honest support and information. He is afraid of hurting you, you are afraid of being hurt...and yet it keeps happening. So I'm going to be presumptuous and say, "it is time to end the hurt." I'm guessing that you can drift into a friendship type, keep in touch relationship, just by where you've already drifted.
And I'm very aware that this is tremendously painful. I wish I could help more with that. But at some point you have to save yourself. And that might mean acute pain now (like chemotherapy) that prevents a long, drawn out death (like cancer). You deserve a life not filled with this drama. You deserve happiness.
Love and hugs,
Daisy
poster:daisym
thread:657367
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060615/msgs/658739.html