Posted by Tamar on May 28, 2006, at 12:59:44
In reply to Is thinking of sucide a bad thing? Trigger, posted by happyflower on May 27, 2006, at 21:12:53
> I mean, like I saw my dad die and he was in terrible physical pain and after he died he looked so peaceful. They don't allow animals to go through that much suffering.
>
> I told my T (my last message) that I deceide to live in this f*cked up world. Yes I was in a dark place.
> Well I was thinking about how I would do it peacefully with taking my kids with me so they wouldn't have to suffer anymore either. We could just fall asleep together. Now I don't think I would ever do this but have you ever thought about how you would if you wanted to? Is this a bad sign? Is it okay to think about? I am okay right now, but what if I wasn't and I had enought living, I wonder if it would be a bad thing to put the end to my suffering.I don’t think it’s bad.
I do think it can be dangerous.
Yes, I have thought about how I would. And I’ve also been in a place where I’ve wanted to. The two things are different to me, but they can be connected.
I’ve thought about it when I wanted to escape from the feelings. I couldn’t find a way to switch off my feelings and I wanted a break from them. And I thought it would be nice to go to sleep and never wake up. It was hard to find other ways of taking a break from the feelings, but I found shopping helped (I didn’t need to spend money; I just needed to spend time in shops where all the colours and lights and people would distract me). I don’t know whether some kind of distraction would be helpful to you…
I’m a little curious about why you want to take your kids with you. Is it because you believe they’re suffering as much as you are? Or perhaps because you don’t want to leave them with your husband? Or something else?
It sounds as if you’re in a horrible place right now. I’m so sorry you’re feeling so awful. I know I can’t make it all better, but here are some hugs:
((((((((((((((((Happyflower))))))))))))))))
Hang in there. I don’t want to lose you. I know I’m selfish, but I can’t help it. I’d miss you too much.
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:649513
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060526/msgs/649721.html