Posted by orchid on April 20, 2006, at 13:14:02
In reply to Re: Pls read: hubby goes to female T/T is your hubby » orchid, posted by Daisym on April 20, 2006, at 3:11:31
The truth is, it is about my feelings that I expressed.
I am not a T to stick to one particular idea all the time and take one particular stance. I am also a patient, and my idea of attachment and feelings towards therapists keep varying.
Some days I think it is perfectly allright, and it is the way it should be and ought to be, and it is best to go through it and come out on the other end.
The other days, like yesterday, I felt so horrible for having been attached to another married man (just as many of us here have felt at one time or the other). And thought of how I would feel if I was a T's wife, and how I would feel if my husband had to share many intimate secrets to another woman and get attached to her and not me - and it didn't feel very good at all. I felt horrible *about myself* for having done what I did.
Maybe it wasn't rational, or even correct, but I felt really horrible and bad yesterday, about myself, and the tone in my post expressed these feelings. I didn't even think of you and happyflower or others here in the same situation. The question was to all of us here only as an extrapolation, but most of all, I was speaking of myself and my husband and my T and my T's wife. I didn't say you all should apologize. I said I should. It wasn't any disguised attempt to ridicule or hurt anyone's feelings. How can you believe that I would do such a thing after seeing me here for such a long time? Sometimes I do say things little bluntly, but that mostly comes out before even I have a chance to correct myself. Honestly, what prompted above post was after reading Fairywings post above, and I wrote my post in an instant, without giving too much thought or trying to make it sensitive or be polite. I felt so repulsive of myself for having ever been in a position of Fairywing's husband's colleague, (though my situation was with a T, and it was quite appropriate at afterthought, at that moment, I didn't differentiate it). And I didn't remember either you or happyflower when I wrote that post. Maybe I should have, but it just didn't occur to me.
I have said before, and I will say it again, it wasn't meant to hurt you or HappyFlower. It honestly wasn't.
It was a controversial and provoking post, I agree - but that doesn't mean it was a mean and disguised attempt to hurt anyone's feelings. In fact, only after I read your reply, did it even occur to me that my post could hurt someone, and I added the trigger immediately afterwards.
poster:orchid
thread:634800
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060406/msgs/635288.html