Posted by B2chica on April 19, 2006, at 12:51:55
In reply to need support and suggestions please, posted by fairywings on April 19, 2006, at 12:29:07
((((((((((((fairywings)))))))))))))
first i'm glad to hear at least you are talking about it in therapy even if he's not. he needs to realize that your needs are suffering here and he needs to pay attention to them and respect your wishes.
now i don't know the whole story but whatever is going on is NOT on you. you are Not stupid, and you have every right to be upset at your feelings being violated.
-just curious but what does your T say about all this?usually if i get too angry to deal with people in a civil way i try tell them what is going on and that i can't stand being around them at that time.
i definately think that talking more about this to your T could help you. help you understand your feelings and possibly his.so are you saying there is some type of love affair going on between them (maybe non-sexual?) or are you upset that he seems to be paying more attention to her life, her kids, her work than your own lives? (just as valid)
just keep in mind that sometimes guys can be a little dense on this subject and (i'm guessing) he spends 40 hours a week with this person, you tend to get to know them pretty well if you get along. but she may have different intentions. sometimes it's amazing at how little some guys pick up on stuff. maybe he isn't even aware she's pulled him so much into her life??
but most importantly you should make sure that he knows that his intimate knowledge of her and her life is greatly upsetting you. he needs to acknowledge, understand AND respect that.please let us know what you decide to do about this.
also, what your T thinks.b2c.
poster:B2chica
thread:634788
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060406/msgs/634795.html