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Re: More about loving Dr. Bob Deneb

Posted by JenStar on February 28, 2006, at 14:25:59

In reply to More about loving Dr. Bob, posted by Deneb on February 24, 2006, at 22:18:38

hi Deneb,
well, I've never met Dr. Bob so I can't help you out there.

But I would say that no, it isn't "real" love that you're feeling - not exactly. I think you've created a "Dr. Bob persona" in your mind, an ideal Dr. Bob, that treats you the way you'd like to be treated.

Although I'm sure the REAL Dr. Bob is polite, conscientious and caring, he definitely won't be the same as the imaginary one. It might be a little disappointing. But I bet you'll get over in a few seconds and enjoy meeting the real guy.

Probably after meeting the real one, you WILL be less attached to the imaginary Dr. Bob, because you will know a bit more about the REAL one, and the two will not match up.

I think many people take bits and pieces of what they know about a real person and supplement it with wishes and dreams and idealized fantasties, and create a dream-person. This dream-person might have the face and shape of a real life person, but the personality is usually all different. Crushes work that way a lot -- if you get a crush on someone you don't really know, in your fantasies you "fill in" details to make that person ideal.

I think it will be good for you to meet the real Dr. Bob. And I hope you have fun at the reunion!

JenStar


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poster:JenStar thread:612983
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060225/msgs/614311.html