Posted by ClearSkies on January 24, 2006, at 21:40:28
In reply to I hope so... » ClearSkies, posted by Racer on January 24, 2006, at 16:20:19
Someone to help me stop the crazy monkeys jumping around in my head. Punctuation has returned with the assurance that the darkest of my latest night has probably passed.
A medication adjustment by the pdoc. Great huge gulping sobs by me upon leaving her office, so relieved <ashamed> <embarassed> <happy> I was to hear that I'd had one of those "seldom reported" reactions to too much Campral in my system.And then therapy. Feeling those <bracketed> feelings that scream "loser loser you loser you"; like *I* would know what a seldom reported reaction from a relatively new medication would be like to experience. I mean, the doctor pulled out the PDR in front of me and everything (she isn't the Great And Wonderful Oz like I thought?? Or actually she is). And knowing, really knowing, that I am not a loser, that that word does not describe who I am but what I tell myself I am. Not even WHO but WHAT. So something big happened there tonight and the evening went from me not really remembering why I made the appointment, to being really satisfied with what we accomplished. Even if it's only for tonight or a while longer, it helped me.
On the other side of the wringer it is not so bad.
poster:ClearSkies
thread:602142
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060121/msgs/602515.html