Posted by alexandra_k on December 5, 2005, at 16:34:57
In reply to Re: Reframing and helping » alexandra_k, posted by gardenergirl on December 4, 2005, at 23:31:40
> >> doesn't it take effort to tone them down?
> > (and then wuoldn't you need 'recovery time' from the effort involved?)
> > or if you make an effort then after time... do they not present as so intense in the first place?> I did notice that when I was with my dad, and he was being so emotional, I wasn't crying much and I wasn't feeling things very intensely in the moment. I suspect it helped him, because if I just lost it and got all blubbery, I think that would have thrown him off or something. But still, it felt a little odd to me not to be so "engaged" in an emotional experience. I described it in therapy as feeling distanced or numb. Or maybe like I was a T and my dad was a client...which is weird. My T said that maybe I just was feeling things less intensely than usual and less intense than me dad.
Ah. I don't know either. Maybe it kind of is 'therapist mode'. But then... I think we do that outside therapy too. Like when one of my friends is upset and I get to 'play therapist' for a while. Yeah, it would probably be unhelpful if I felt as upset or whatever as my friend (because then we would probably end up winding each other up).
But I guess I wasn't really thinking of that...
> > GLAD YOU ARE BACK :-)> Hey, are you shouting that at me? ;-)
Sorry. Just got all excited ;-)
I guess I was thinking more generally... Not so much in relation to that particular situation (or to the wedding in general which is OF COURSE going to be an emotional event and OF COURSE you are going to feel a bit tired in the come down from that). But I'm thinking more generally... Is that how it is supposed to go?That if you are better able to control how you express emotions (thats a general 'you')
Then they won't present as so intense in the first place?I guess... I'm thinking of me...
About whether that is how one is supposed to go about having less intense emotions...
poster:alexandra_k
thread:584174
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051130/msgs/585827.html