Posted by jammerlich on November 16, 2005, at 14:50:44
In reply to Re: Its called DENIAL, posted by daisym on November 16, 2005, at 0:55:51
>>>> It is something I've absolutely agonized over. I can make strong cases on both sides, her knowing and not knowing. After all, I didn't know about my sister...<<<<< Daisy, I just want to be clear that I think there is a HUGE difference between a parent's responsibility and that of a sibling. You were not in any way responsible for knowing what was happening to your sister. That was your mother's job, not yours.
>>>>> I don't know what else to say, except perhaps to not judge too harshly. How much pain must a person be in to not see what is happening to their child?
<<<<< Let me start out by saying that I don't mean this to sound snippy - I really want to know. How are you able to recognize this possible pain and use it in a way to help yourself without thinking it some kind of excuse for poor behavior? Whenever I hear something like that, I feel like it minimizes my own pain. Like I shouldn't complain b/c after all, that other person suffered too.
Maybe I'm just too judgemental. I guess I really believe that when a person chooses to become a parent they should be held to somewhat of a higher standard. Meaning that their pain should always come second to that of their children. It just can't be an excuse. Maybe that's something I need to re-evaluate.
poster:jammerlich
thread:578834
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051107/msgs/579369.html