Posted by Frida on November 15, 2005, at 7:47:17
In reply to Mothers - should they have known?? ***Trigger***, posted by jammerlich on November 14, 2005, at 23:15:42
Hi-- I'm so sorry you still feel the shame :-(
I don't know either, but the more I've been working on it on T, the more I believe that my mother did know, but chose to ignore it because it was too much for her to face and she didn't want to see what was happening-
It's true that my father also threatened me not to tell, but there were too many signs and things that I can't understand how a mother can miss.
The abuse went on for so many years- how could she not know or realize something wrong was happening in her own house for more than 12 years?I do believe I sent my signals and tried to let her know in my way...I think that my mother didn't want to see what was happening- but i've talked it over with my T and from all I told her, she told me that as painful as it is, my mother pretended not to know (and still does), because it was too difficult for her - but it's difficult that a mother can ignore so many signs that children give out when they are being abused-
i don't know really-
I am sorry your mother didn't do anything to make it stop :-(
Sending you support,
Frida
> I've been thinking a lot lately about the mother and whether or not she knew what the father was doing to me. Of course I think they all *should* know, but what I'm talking about is when signals as big as billboards are there and they just don't get it. Are they really that blind or do they simply choose to ignore?
>
> I remember a point when I was certain she knew and that it would all finally end. She was in the hallway, holding something she'd found that I had been hiding - something no 7-year-old should have to worry about. I was so relieved because I thought, "She knows, she finally knows." But she started yelling at me. Scolding me for not properly laundering these things. I was so ashamed (I'm still ashamed), yet even then I was certain she'd talk to him - make it stop. But it didn't stop.
>
> I think she knew and turned her back on me. Is it possible to miss something like that?
poster:Frida
thread:578834
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051107/msgs/578887.html