Posted by Happyflower on October 30, 2005, at 18:45:37
In reply to Re: Thanks to everyone » happyflower, posted by Tamar on October 30, 2005, at 17:50:20
Hey Tamar,
I think you are onto something here. It all makes sense what you are saying and you are probably right.
I guess in a nutshell I didn't feel special to my parents, my DH doesn't make me feel special anymore and my T says I am not very special to him. So I don't feel special to anyone right now, and it sucks. I want to be special! and I want to be told I am ! I guess I am starting to sound like a little kid stomping my feet pouting in my pillow crying.
I guess I am a little angry at my T because he says I am not very special to him but yet he wants to come to my concert which seems special to me. So yes, I am sick of the messed up mixed signals full of bullsh#t coming out of the mouth of my T right now. (boy that sounds mean, ouch!)
I don't want to be special to someone who I really can't be special to. I don't want to get hurt. And I always have a habit of ditching people if I feel like I am going to get hurt. My T even knows this, I have done it to him before. When I started to feel too attached, I would say something mean to him, like he looked h@ll one day, so I could reject him before he rejects me so I don't get hurt.
So I guess with all the increased attention I am getting from my T , makes me feel like he really cares about me and it makes me feel special,but also make me feel closer to him and that scares me. Because everyone who gets close to me sh#ts on me eventually.
poster:Happyflower
thread:571908
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051025/msgs/573536.html