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Re: Thanks to everyone » Happyflower

Posted by fallsfall on October 30, 2005, at 18:39:19

In reply to Re: Thanks to everyone, posted by Happyflower on October 30, 2005, at 16:49:22

I think Tamar brings up some very good points. I definately think that this is something that you should discuss in therapy.

Years ago, my first therapist came to see me skate in an ice show. She had been taking beginner lessons in a class that I was helping with when I first went to see her. I stopped skating for a while, and this ice show was a triumph because I was getting back to skating. I did feel special that she came (I skated right at the beginning and she only stayed to see me skate, so I know that the only reason she came was for me). Sometimes I wonder if feeling that special was a good thing for me. We didn't really talk about that aspect of it, and in retrospect, I wish that we had.

You might want to ask him what message he is trying to send to you by coming to the concert. And you might want to talk about your fears about him coming.

Maybe he IS trying to tell you that you are special. That you are wonderful and unique and important to him. So perhaps your refusal to let him come might be because you don't think that you are those things. Well, WE think you are those things, too.

I also tried to convince my current therapist that I didn't want to talk to him while he was on vacation. He made it very clear to me that it was HIS decision how he spent his time, not mine. And that he would weigh his need for vacation against his need for me to not be a mess when he got back. And that it wasn't my decision to make. Whether your therapist spends his weekend watching your concert or being with his family is not your decision to make. Maybe he'll bring his wife and they'll have a nice date!

Talk to him. Tell him what it means to you. Find out what it means to him.

 

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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051025/msgs/573534.html