Posted by Susan47 on October 30, 2005, at 12:44:11
In reply to Re: I Can't Believe It » Susan47, posted by allisonross on October 30, 2005, at 10:27:27
How does your reality bite, right now?
> Have been in love with my therapist for 2 years, and what he has been doing is called "seductive behavior"...I have always loved it, but now I know it is not good for me, but am not ready to confront him.
>
> I've confronted him on other issues (not afraid to speak my mind).I wasn't either, to begin with. I told my T exactly but EXACTLY how he affected me, and his response was in looking concerned, a bit shaken actually, not wanting to have physical contact with me or even eye contact with me during and afterward, and when I insisted on a handshake, it was sweaty. I mean, mushy and damp. Which it never was before. And I knew right then it was a doomed relationship, because my confession came AFTER I caught him openly and lasciviously staring at my almost-non-existent, at that time, breasts. And well-encased, you know, I always kept them pretty much locked away. I mean, he had to have known my admission was coming, because he has to know he does this. This sort of behaviour isn't something new to someone his age, which I think was 56 or 7 at the time. I mean, Ally, come on, he's a bloody THERAPIST for Christ's sake. He wears no wedding ring. Although he claims to be in a working marriage, he referred to his Other frequently. To the point where it became a bit suspicious, you know, like holding the carrot out to the donkey. And like a big donkey, Ally, I FELL FOR IT!!!!
I HATED MYSELF FOR FALLING FOR HIS NASTY LITTLE BAG OF TRICKS, Ally.
ONLY HE WOULD DENY WHAT HE WAS UP TO.Because, to get onto one of your questions, Ally, I saw the two of them together in public, three times. And each and every time he was a bystander in the relationship. Two feet away minimum, from her, well either to the side or behind this woman, who resembles my mother for God's sake, except for her superior little Woman-Of-The-Manor (my *ss!) looks ... they are Not an Attractive Couple. They just don't seem really together, it's like one's the boss and the other's the helper, and you don't really know which is which, because looks can be deceiving, you know? And one time she was looking at a video in the library, I didn't even know they were there, I can never remember what this woman looks like, her features are "everywoman" to me, just nothing particular about her, you know? Nothing really stands out about her, or him either, for that fact. Except that I was tantalized by this man's f*cking behaviour when he was away from her. Ally, he was like a dog in heat in a skin that's too tight.
I feel terrible, and wonderful, having my eyes opened. Knowing how I was used and actually loving being used. And being hurt by it too. And his ignorance of his own behaviour is so funny, Ally. It's funny and I would split a gut laughing if I hadn't spent such a long time in the trap of his seduction.
He's a seducing T, Ally. It's true. I've heard him with his patients, and he's like that with couples and single women, but I don't know about single men. I think they make him buckle down a bit and stop acting.
I know and I knew he couldn't be trusted, but I wanted to be special, I didn't want to be like all the others. And the fact is maybe that I wasn't.
Maybe I rebelled.
poster:Susan47
thread:569236
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051025/msgs/573392.html