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I'm sorry this is becoming more » allisonross

Posted by Susan47 on October 26, 2005, at 19:34:31

In reply to Re: Susan:It's Sick, posted by allisonross on October 26, 2005, at 7:58:48

I'm sorry, this gets kind of lengthy.
What you said Ally, that's weird, the realization I have right now that I'm beginning to understand the concept that feelings can be true, genuine, real and laced with impurities. My feelings don't have to be perfect or perfectly clear, to be taken seriously and to be appreciated and taken generously.
.........(rave) ... God, Nigel Kennedy playing the Four Seasons has some incredibly dark, slow moments of agony ...
sorry, I think maybe it's going into fall here. I need to learn this piece intimately. It's one of my favourites. Also Handel's Water Music is divine, but I can't seem to locate a copy and I'm missing it so much. Harnoncourt, what's Harnoncourt? Because I love that too....(end)
You've said it twice now, that I can remember, and maybe you have something. Maybe it doesn't have to be smart or right to be true. Maybe I was really loving this man so much, and wanting him to be my physical and emotional partner, and maybe I was quite ugly and gross to him, immature, loud, whatever.. bad breath .. I mean, who knows, right? You never know what someone else is thinking.. but I suspect if they're good people, a good person knows when to cut his or her thoughts off. I like that I'm getting to be a better and better person :) .. in that regard ... I just took a big sigh. I mean, why does life have to be so much hard work? Or it's a bag of suffering for so many many, most of the planet in fact, you have to be a mindless thing to be not working at something in your life, not suffering somehow, physically mentally or emotionally ...
time to see my new therapist for emdr.
I'm nervous and I don't like being nervous, and scared, and I'm depressed feeling I waver back and forth, you know, up and down, I never feel really complete unless I'm stoned.
I hate myself.


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Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:Susan47 thread:569236
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051025/msgs/572196.html