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Re: Dream Analysis anyone? ****Trigger**** fairywings

Posted by cricket on September 21, 2005, at 8:29:58

In reply to Re: Dream Analysis anyone? ****Trigger****, posted by fairywings on September 21, 2005, at 6:33:50


I am sorry that everything is so painful right now. I think that maybe things are changing inside of you. I think if you can hold tight through this something really good will come out the other side. (I guess I'm half talking to myself here) :-)

> what i feel/see is everything inside me just wailing in sadness and pain, and i want to hold those parts and comfort them, but i can't feel it on the outside, other than feeling depressed about everything, i can't cry. i dont' respond to any part of me in anger, i try to comfort, but often it just doesn't work, or they pull away when they're really sad like this. i don't know, i just don't understand it.
Yes, I know exactly what that is like. But try. Just try asking. How can I help? You know I will always take care of you. In a nice quiet place where you feel safe. Do you have a place like that?
Maybe if it's too hard to talk about big issues. I know I can't really and I don't dare go near the past. Just try everyday things. Did you like the dinner I cooked? What's your favorite color? Just like you would talk to any child. You might think it's just all silly pretending and maybe it is, but it helps. For me anyway, it really helps.

> i have called every day to see if my t has a cancel, and he doesn't, so i have to wait. sometimes i feel like i can't make it, other times i think i'll be okay. last night i took ambien and still couldn't sleep, got up at 1:30 to take another, that never happens. it always works. trying to fall asleep, in my mind, i saw myself shoot myself in the head. i'm glad i don't have a gun. i don't think i'd do that, but you never know what you'd do when you get this way. this is not like me at all. i hope it stops soon.
Yes, sometimes I have horrible images when I am trying to fall asleep too. Slicing open my chest in a X shape right where my heart is and others I won't even go into.

Maybe tell your T that it's an emergency. I think if you maybe just talk to him, it would help.

And hold those kids tight. Maybe just imagine that. You know what they look like in your head. Just stroke their hair, let them settle into your chest.
Please take care fairywings and keep posting.




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