Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 557511

Shown: posts 1 to 18 of 18. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Dream Analysis anyone? ****Trigger****

Posted by fairywings on September 20, 2005, at 21:48:28

Last week when I went to my appt. my T was talking about my inner child, some might remember I went on about it ad nauseum, anyway, he said, "DON'T respond to the child the way your father would have!" Well, during the appt. I felt like a deer caught in headlights or something, kind of like my head was dizzy/swimmy or something. I kept thinking I wish he werent' sitting between me and the door.

Anyway, that night when I was sleeping, my husband got paged, and as I started coming out of my dream, I remembered my dream. My T had ahold of my wrists, was mad, and was yelling at me, "DON'T respond to the child...." It reallly freaked me out and I couldn't get back to sleep. I usually don't remember any dreams, or at least very few.

This whole week I've been kind of depressed, sometimes suicidally so, and I have NO idea why. My husband's been out of town, and I've been totally useless. My house is a mess, and I've basically told the kids, other than the 2 year old, to fend for themselves. I feel just weird, like I'm somewhere else, my head feels fuzzy. This whole thing has just set me off, and most of the time I feel like I"m going to vomit....oh, who was it who asked me about using that word, well, there it is again! I've lost 6 pounds since last thursday.

I went to my p-doc for my son's appt. today and normally he makes me nervous, today I didn't give a crap about anything, didn't even wear any make-up. And no, I didn't say anything to him. I really don't want to talk to him about this. I know it's stupid, but i don't.

Anyone have any ideas about the dream?
thanks,
fw

 

Re: Feeling suicidal ****Trigger****

Posted by fairywings on September 20, 2005, at 22:58:32

In reply to Dream Analysis anyone? ****Trigger****, posted by fairywings on September 20, 2005, at 21:48:28

Feeling really depressed and suicidal. Everything inside is just crying, it's so painful, I can't stand it. I won't do anything I don't think, but i wish my husband weren't out of town, and that my T appt. wasn't so far away. my poor kids, they just have no idea their mom is so messed up.

fw

 

Re: Dream Analysis anyone? ****Trigger****

Posted by sleepygirl on September 20, 2005, at 23:40:15

In reply to Dream Analysis anyone? ****Trigger****, posted by fairywings on September 20, 2005, at 21:48:28

Hey fairywings, sorry you're having a hard time. OK now I may be full of crap, but I'll take a swing at it.

You may have internalized something within you from a parent (I don't know-possibly your father) that reacts very negatively and with anger toward the needs of you as a child-your inner child. Maybe there is some anger in you directed toward that child who is naturally in need, a part of yourself who hates that child. "DON'T RESPOND to the child" Maybe your sadness is that anger turned inward.

The vulnerability of needing someone you care about can really suck- it can be terrifying to acknowledge it, accept support, fear rejection.
AND It sounds like the intensity with which your T communicated this suggestion was kind of frightening to you. Do you know why? Anyway whatever it was it hit a nerve. You sound kind of disconnected, like you are really in pain. I hope you get to see your T again soon. Hang in there.

 

Re: Feeling suicidal ****Trigger****

Posted by sleepygirl on September 20, 2005, at 23:41:22

In reply to Re: Feeling suicidal ****Trigger****, posted by fairywings on September 20, 2005, at 22:58:32

You sound really lonely and depressed. Can you call your T?

 

Please call and get some help

Posted by happyflower on September 21, 2005, at 0:32:44

In reply to Re: Feeling suicidal ****Trigger****, posted by fairywings on September 20, 2005, at 22:58:32

Oh Fairywings, PLEASE call your DH or your T . I am really worried about you. Or call me, I think you might have my number. You have too much to live for, please don't let your past ruin everything that you have now. Your kids need you, your DH needs you. It sounds like you really need to call your T. When does your DH come home? Please keep writing, I don't think I can go to sleep until I know you are okay.

 

Re: Feeling suicidal ****Trigger**** » fairywings

Posted by Damos on September 21, 2005, at 1:21:21

In reply to Re: Feeling suicidal ****Trigger****, posted by fairywings on September 20, 2005, at 22:58:32

Dear sweet Fairywings,

Sending you all the good thoughts and feelings I can muster.

Please do whatever you need to do, call whoever you need to call for you and the kids to be safe. Can you ask a friend to come and be with you for a while?

Sorry you're hurting so much, would do anything to make it better.

((((((((((fairywings))))))))))

 

Re: Dream Analysis anyone? ****Trigger****

Posted by fairywings on September 21, 2005, at 6:33:50

In reply to Re: Dream Analysis anyone? ****Trigger****, posted by sleepygirl on September 20, 2005, at 23:40:15

thanks sleepy, happy, and damos,

i talked to my husband yesterday and he's coming home tomorrow, i am depressed and lonely, but i don't want to be around anyone either. having him hold me would be good, but he doesn't understand. i don't have any friends who would even come close to understanding, so i can't ask for help.

what i feel/see is everything inside me just wailing in sadness and pain, and i want to hold those parts and comfort them, but i can't feel it on the outside, other than feeling depressed about everything, i can't cry. i dont' respond to any part of me in anger, i try to comfort, but often it just doesn't work, or they pull away when they're really sad like this. i don't know, i just don't understand it.

i have called every day to see if my t has a cancel, and he doesn't, so i have to wait. sometimes i feel like i can't make it, other times i think i'll be okay. last night i took ambien and still couldn't sleep, got up at 1:30 to take another, that never happens. it always works. trying to fall asleep, in my mind, i saw myself shoot myself in the head. i'm glad i don't have a gun. i don't think i'd do that, but you never know what you'd do when you get this way. this is not like me at all. i hope it stops soon.


thanks,
fw

 

Re: Dream Analysis anyone? ****Trigger**** » fairywings

Posted by cricket on September 21, 2005, at 8:29:58

In reply to Re: Dream Analysis anyone? ****Trigger****, posted by fairywings on September 21, 2005, at 6:33:50

((((((Fairywings))))))))))

I am sorry that everything is so painful right now. I think that maybe things are changing inside of you. I think if you can hold tight through this something really good will come out the other side. (I guess I'm half talking to myself here) :-)

> what i feel/see is everything inside me just wailing in sadness and pain, and i want to hold those parts and comfort them, but i can't feel it on the outside, other than feeling depressed about everything, i can't cry. i dont' respond to any part of me in anger, i try to comfort, but often it just doesn't work, or they pull away when they're really sad like this. i don't know, i just don't understand it.
>
Yes, I know exactly what that is like. But try. Just try asking. How can I help? You know I will always take care of you. In a nice quiet place where you feel safe. Do you have a place like that?
Maybe if it's too hard to talk about big issues. I know I can't really and I don't dare go near the past. Just try everyday things. Did you like the dinner I cooked? What's your favorite color? Just like you would talk to any child. You might think it's just all silly pretending and maybe it is, but it helps. For me anyway, it really helps.

> i have called every day to see if my t has a cancel, and he doesn't, so i have to wait. sometimes i feel like i can't make it, other times i think i'll be okay. last night i took ambien and still couldn't sleep, got up at 1:30 to take another, that never happens. it always works. trying to fall asleep, in my mind, i saw myself shoot myself in the head. i'm glad i don't have a gun. i don't think i'd do that, but you never know what you'd do when you get this way. this is not like me at all. i hope it stops soon.
>
Yes, sometimes I have horrible images when I am trying to fall asleep too. Slicing open my chest in a X shape right where my heart is and others I won't even go into.

Maybe tell your T that it's an emergency. I think if you maybe just talk to him, it would help.

And hold those kids tight. Maybe just imagine that. You know what they look like in your head. Just stroke their hair, let them settle into your chest.
>
Please take care fairywings and keep posting.

 

Re: Dream Analysis anyone? ****Trigger****

Posted by fairywings on September 21, 2005, at 17:42:15

In reply to Re: Dream Analysis anyone? ****Trigger**** » fairywings, posted by cricket on September 21, 2005, at 8:29:58

Thanks cricket,

when i hold my own kids, i think how soft my sons hair is, and how warm he is. i just love that. he's so cute. i appreciate that you're so understanding. i just feel surreal sometimes.

i'll make it till tomorrow now, to my appointment, and if i don't vomit in his office (see there's that word again), then maybe i'll be okay. My husband will be home tomorrow, so i can sleep and get rid of this headache.

thanks,
fw

 

(((((((((FAIRYWINGS))))))))) (nm)

Posted by happyflower on September 21, 2005, at 18:30:33

In reply to Re: Dream Analysis anyone? ****Trigger****, posted by fairywings on September 21, 2005, at 17:42:15

 

Fairywings?

Posted by cricket on September 22, 2005, at 16:23:27

In reply to Dream Analysis anyone? ****Trigger****, posted by fairywings on September 20, 2005, at 21:48:28

I've been thinking about you.

Did you get to see your T?

I hope things are a little better.

 

Re: Fairywings? Thanks cricket » cricket

Posted by fairywings on September 23, 2005, at 13:10:02

In reply to Fairywings?, posted by cricket on September 22, 2005, at 16:23:27


Hi Cricket,

Thanks for thinking about me, I was going to post on this today. I had my appointment last night. I was so friggin scared, thought I was going to vomit! ; ) I feel so much better. He said this is probably just a coping mechanism.

He said that he didn't want to make too much of it, because he's hoping that the voices will subside since they're not going on that much now. He said he thinks might be my mind trying to tell me something, like a dream or fantasy.

He thinks I need to get out of my head and get busy doing more fun stuff. He's right. All last week I was so caught up being afraid I'd lost it, I didn't do anything, but I was really depressed too, so it was hard. I feel better.

He said we don't always have to be trying to make progress, but I want to get beyond the really bad stuff. I guess to do that won't feel very good.

He's nice and he makes me think. Thanks for thinking about me cricket.
fw

 

Re: Dream Analysis anyone? ****Trigger**** » fairywings

Posted by terrics on September 25, 2005, at 8:57:21

In reply to Dream Analysis anyone? ****Trigger****, posted by fairywings on September 20, 2005, at 21:48:28

I feel so bad about your dream. Bad dreams sort of hang on at least in my head. Does that happen to you?
The dream means something important to you so I think the best thing for you to do is talk to your therapist; Maybe even call him if your appt. is not soon. feel better. terrics
ps I am the one with the vomiting issue.

 

Re: Dream Analysis anyone? ****Trigger**** » terrics

Posted by fairywings on September 25, 2005, at 15:46:39

In reply to Re: Dream Analysis anyone? ****Trigger**** » fairywings, posted by terrics on September 25, 2005, at 8:57:21

Hi terrics, oh gosh, i'd never tell him this dream! LOL, esp after our last appt. i don't know maybe a LONG time from now.

At our appt he did say that in dreams and fantasies each image is trying to tell us something, so maybe this dream was my struggle with trying to get away from what he was saying to me? LOL I was trying to run away from him/what he was saying, and he was trying to make me listen to him? I don't know.

Do you feel like you're nauseated a lot too? I told my T in my last appt. I felt that way. LOL Great! Why is it that way for you?

Dreams are interesting, that's for sure, I wish I could remember more of them.
thanks for your thoughts!
fw

 

Re: Dream Analysis anyone? ****Trigger**** » fairywings

Posted by terrics on September 26, 2005, at 20:49:23

In reply to Re: Dream Analysis anyone? ****Trigger**** » terrics, posted by fairywings on September 25, 2005, at 15:46:39

Hi FW, re: the vomiting thing; It happens under extreme stress, especially fear. terrics

 

Re: Dream Analysis anyone? ****Trigger**** » terrics

Posted by fairywings on September 27, 2005, at 6:52:44

In reply to Re: Dream Analysis anyone? ****Trigger**** » fairywings, posted by terrics on September 26, 2005, at 20:49:23

Not a pleasant feeling, is it terrics?! Some weeks I feel that way most of the week. The whole past week I felt that way, just mildy. Sometimes I feel like my body's betrayed me in so many ways, or that it must be my parents have come back from the dead to haunt me (which I know isn't true, but would make sense w/all the bs going on). Think I'll leave THAT out of therapy! ; ) What's your T say about the vomiting? Anything that helps?
fw

 

Re: Dream Analysis anyone? ****Trigger**** » fairywings

Posted by terrics on September 27, 2005, at 8:01:58

In reply to Re: Dream Analysis anyone? ****Trigger**** » terrics, posted by fairywings on September 27, 2005, at 6:52:44

Hi FW, I only tlod her once and she did not comment on it. What does your T. say? terrics

 

Re: Dream Analysis anyone? ****Trigger**** » terrics

Posted by fairywings on September 27, 2005, at 8:19:28

In reply to Re: Dream Analysis anyone? ****Trigger**** » fairywings, posted by terrics on September 27, 2005, at 8:01:58

didn't mention it.
fw


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