Posted by Damos on August 30, 2005, at 17:20:45
In reply to Re: shouldn't have gone, posted by alexandra_k on August 30, 2005, at 6:06:45
Hey :-)
Kinda think I know what you mean. I'm almost sure his eminence Lord Larry Hoover had a thread about this kinda thing a while back - sure he did.
But yeah, I know what you mean I get that way sometimes too when something gets set off and while you know it's coming from you, you're really just kind of there watching it happen wondering where is this coming from.
Please don't feel ashamed. You've got so much stuff to be triggery about around this, and when you combine that with just how important it is to you and the frustration that has been built up over so long, it's hardly a surprise that when you sensed it was just a re-run of what's gone before you let fly. Your T and I probably didn't help by setting up in your mind a picture that meant you could go in and check the boxes against the picture and instantly feel; "F*ck no, not again." Sorry.
If you can't get his email, then a short hand-written note would probably be nice. And if you're anything like me you probably self distort what you actually said/did into something waaaay worse than it actually was anyway. But a sincere apology and thank you for at least taking time to see me never goes astray. The simple fact that you feel the need to do it says good things about you kiddo, lots of good things. Many wouldn't.
It's probably a vicious circle. "I can't therapy to help we resolve and work through stuff, so when you tell me I can't get any help - again, it triggers off all the stuff you won't give me any help to deal with." And round and round it goes.
Probably a good idea to give yourself a couple of days. Read a book, write some stuff, let it go for a bit.
See ya round like a rissole :-P
poster:Damos
thread:546157
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050824/msgs/548835.html