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I

Posted by Dinah on August 17, 2005, at 22:35:55

Sometimes I wonder if there's an *I*. A weird thing about having enthusiasms is that sometimes I love something and sometimes I don't care, but the enthusiasms usually cycle over the same topics. Today I thought of something I loved, and realized I had sold it on eBay. And thought "But I wouldn't do that." But of course I did.

And I started to feel odd, like there was no *I* at all. That all there was was this moment, and who I was right now. But that that *I* wasn't permanent at all. And that that *I* had no relation to the *I* of yesterday or the *I* of tomorrow. And if that was true, there was no *I* at all. Just a series of moments.

I had to remind myself that *I* love reading in the bath. I always have. And *I* don't like peanuts, but I do like peanut butter, but only JIF peanut butter (because to me it tastes nothing at all like real peanuts). And that all my life I've hated peanuts, but loved JIF. And that tomorrow and the day after I will hate peanuts, but eat JIF nearly every day.

And if there is an *I* that always hates peanuts but loves JIF, and always loves to read in the bath, then there must be an *I*.

 

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poster:Dinah thread:543244
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050813/msgs/543244.html