Posted by daisym on July 27, 2005, at 23:47:40
In reply to why (and how) do you trust your T? (kinda long), posted by ghost on July 27, 2005, at 16:19:58
***i just don't know what i'm supposed to do now.****
I wish i had a nickel for every time I said that in therapy. My therapist's response is almost always "we keep talking about it. You just keep being honest about it."
Ghost -- you know how I feel about my therapist. This week he said to me again, "I don't know what I could say that would convience you I won't leave you, or termiate you. I'll say it over and over 'I won't' but I'll also just keep proving it over and over again too. And that's totally OK." I felt really bad that after all he has done for me that I can't let go of this fear. I *do* trust him, but there is a part of me that doesn't trust the Universe and the unpredictability of life.
It strikes me that some part of you must really want to open up to her, otherwise you wouldn't have written what you've written. Maybe you are on the edge of ready...and you need her to help you take the plunge. My therapist will ask, "do you want me to nudge you a little?" when he knows I want to tell him something but it is too scary. (I think I wrote above about nodding my head a lot.) We've agreed on him very quietly saying, "it is OK to tell me. I can hear it." It is overt permission to say painful and ugly stuff.
I agree with everyone else, take in your post. It is very eloquent about what you are wanting. I find that I often need to talk about the process before I can get into the content of my thoughts. It is very hard, but worth it.
Hugs from me. Nice to see you.
Daisy
poster:daisym
thread:534337
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050725/msgs/534577.html