Posted by caraher on June 24, 2005, at 11:52:02
In reply to My decision! :), posted by happyflower on June 23, 2005, at 20:34:57
> I guess since he might night answer my question or turn it around on me and why I want to know, I guess there is no point in asking, making us both feel uncomfortable. We are in such a good place right now, I don't want things to change.
Sounds like the best decision to me!
> If he acts odd again when I bring up sex, I will ask him about it. The last time I was talking about when women peak sexually in their 30's and that now I know what it felt like to be a guy at 18. This is an example when he looks away and down. I guess it is too much for him to know he has a horny women accross him, especially since he is attracted to me. Boy, it must be so tough to be a T. But come to think of it, If I said that to most guys, would they get turned on? Maybe I am being inappropiate?
I don't think there's anything inappropriate about saying that, but from my male perspective I'd say that remark would certainly pique heightened interest, especially if uttered by someone I found attractive!
I've thought about asking my T this kind of question, only in a more abstract way. I really don't care if she is attracted to me, I don't entertain romantic or sexual fantasies about her. But I would like to hear an honest answer about what kind of first impression I probably make for the mythical typical woman because of my social anxiety problems. My usual tendency is to shy away from eye contact, smiling etc. in part because I tend to believe I'm a basically unattractive and am better off drawing as little attention to myself as possible. I don't want to make others uncomfortable because they have to deal with a beast like me, nor do I want my face rubbed in my own physical deficiencies.
Now I've done a lot of work on this and have improved quite a bit, to the point that I almost believe that sometimes others actually like it if I say "hi" to them or smile. I guess if I felt like I was at least of "average" attractiveness for my age, etc. I'd feel a lot more comfortable, and that would be my motivation for bringing it up.
poster:caraher
thread:517585
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050622/msgs/518070.html