Posted by Emily Elizabeth on June 24, 2005, at 8:23:08
In reply to Why would a T ask these questions?, posted by Jazzed on June 23, 2005, at 22:14:48
It sounds to me like he is a man who *thinks* that he is being sensitive to women's issues. Like he read a book that said that women might be sensitive about their weight, so it is always best to address it (or some such nonsense).
Hormones can affect mood, so maybe he was trying to get at that. BUT I'm also leary about men who try to reduce women's legitimate concerns about being treated poorly, mental health, etc, to "hormones."
How long have you been seeing him? If you've been w/ him and like him, maybe it was an off day. If you haven't worked with him, you should really question him on this. Call him out on his biases and see if he can take it. If not, find someone else.
Keep us posted!
> Okay, I thought therapy was all about me bringing up the issues that I'm concerned with, and working through them. And, I know that what I bring up will create questions that the T then asks of me. Or, if they seem to sense an issue, then it's fodder for questioning.
> BUT...... at my last session, he asked about when my mom went through menopause, and I said I don't know. He said, "well, find out!" (my mom is dead) So he encouraged me to ask my sister. I'm too young (technically) to go through menopause yet, and I found out my mom went through it when she was 58, by asking my sister.
> Way off for me. And age is a sensitive issue for me (I can't bear the thought of getting older - my problem), so I was hurt that he would ask. He doesn't know that part, but he does know how old I am.
> He also told me that I was irritable! What?! He said I put on a good public face, but that I came off as irritable. IMO, he this might have come from the fact that I challenged him about the first session? I think the menopause issue came up because he thought I was irritable. Yes, I can be irritable, but sure didn't feel I was being irritable then. I'm comfortable calling him on issues, and maybe he's not used to that?
> Then he asked if weight was an issue for me. I hadn't said anything about weight, and I am a bit overweight, but not so THAT overweight. We talked about it, and he was satisfied with what I said, but now I'm offended because I exercise my *ss off everyday. Now he knows that, it came up in the discussion on weight, and in discussing what I do to relieve anxiety.
> This was just the negative part of our session, there was a lot of positive, but now I'm wondering, wondering, wondering WHY he would ask me these things?! It's almost like he wants to make me mad? Worked the first time, might as well do it again kind of thing? I just don't understand. Are these kinds of questions normal?
> Any ideas?
> I intend to ask about all of this at the next session because that's not what I'm there for.