Posted by Tamar on June 6, 2005, at 16:51:13
In reply to Re: Trying to make peace and let go » Tamar, posted by pinkeye on June 6, 2005, at 15:42:22
> Thanks Tamar. I try to be very honest. For a long time in my life, I was not sharing myself with others. I kept it all to myself - nearly for 25 years. And I realized that was not the way to go.. So I try to share myself as much as possible and kind of give myself fully when I write. I picked this putting yourself into the posts beucase of emails that I wrote to my ex T. I had to do it because that was my way of getting therapy. Maybe I just am continuing it.
I think it’s great. It takes a lot of courage to be honest.
> I understood that you were very interested in sex :-). Usually when we have problems in some area, that is when we develop lot of understanding about ourselves in that area. It makes sense that you have been frustrated in sex for a long time. Perhaps that is why you tried so many partners. Maybe it is time to stop trying out that and instead try to understand where your frustration is coming from really.
Oh absolutely. I’ve been married for nine years, so I’m no longer trying lots of partners – it just doesn’t seem like a good idea! And I’ve been trying to understand it, and things are getting better, though it’s slow progress…
> I am a serious person. You are right about that. I wish I were not so serious, but I am. Regarding other things like caring, commitment and dedication etc, I can be both ways. I have been very uncommited to my husband so I can't say I am dedicated and loyal. I think it depends on people - if I like someone or something, I am usually extremely committed and dedicated. Otherwise I am not.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being serious. It’s nicer than being capricious, for example. And choosing when to be loyal and committed is very important; it’s important to exercise good judgement. Maybe there are good reasons why you don’t feel you have been committed to your husband, and maybe it’s possible to change, especially in view of what you said in another post: that your husband is changing.
I think most people have different aspects to their personalities at different times. Sometimes I’m very silly; other times I’m serious when other people just want to be silly. I don’t think we have to be consistent!
poster:Tamar
thread:507378
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050606/msgs/508660.html