Posted by Dinah on May 29, 2005, at 8:48:48
In reply to Re: I think I may be ready to give up my plan » Dinah, posted by Tamar on May 28, 2005, at 16:02:40
> Yes, I understand. I remember when I started to recover from my depression and my daughter crawled into bed with me one morning and was being particularly cute, and I thought, “I love my little girl!” And I hadn’t even realised that I hadn’t been feeling it. But it was so wonderful to get that feeling back. And no, not feeling it doesn’t make you awful, but it’s nice to feel it, isn’t it?
I'm so happy that you had that experience! It is nice to feel it. When I complained to my therapist, I told him it's the compensation for the hard work of loving. And I wanted it, darnit!
I'm not too worrid that my therapist would ever terminate me, unless he was moving or closing his business. In fact, I'm positive he won't. Sometimes he seems so aware of how much he means to me that he'll say things that leave my more rational side thinking he's an arrogant puffed up idiot. But my more emotional side feels comforted. Then, of course, other times he seems to forget.
The sad thing is that I can never tell him of this absolutely amazing sign of progress, because I've never told him of the plan. Doing so now would just make him angry in retrospect. There is no point to that.
I'm glad I have Babble to share this with.
poster:Dinah
thread:504109
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050528/msgs/504616.html