Posted by Daisym on May 23, 2005, at 14:36:02
In reply to There Was One Thing Said I Didn't Like At All..., posted by 10derHeart on May 23, 2005, at 12:53:45
(((Tender))),
The set up around all of this just sucks. Plain and simple. I read your post twice with tears in my eyes because I know it is the conversation I need to have today. It is so important to not feel like client #44 yet don't we know that really, that is what we are?
My guess is that it is your therapist's practice to discuss the need or wish to stop therapy so that both of you clearly understand where it is coming from. BUT, he probably will say that ultimately it is your decision. They use the word termination easily, clinically, like it isn't as shocking as a swear word to us. If we "quit" -- we are mad. If we "stop" we might be out of money, or time. If we "are done" we have less need and are working things out. But if they "terminate" than it feels like being kicked out. At least to me. But I'm really frightened of that phase of therapy, so this is totally my projection. He probably recognized what you said as your response to being hurt and didn't think it had merit anymore since you'd talked things over. But still...
There have been times when I will rant about something and my therapist will say, "do you REALLY want me to help you with X" -- and I'm stunned because I think he should say, "that would really be unwise on your part, to do X." But he rarely does that. I think I'm testing him, checking to see if he cares enough to keep me from hurting my therapy.
I think you do have to talk about this. I also think it is one of the most painful parts of this whole process, wanting to be special, knowing how limited that can be, if at all. *sigh*. It is good that you've attached to him though.
I wish I knew what else to say but I have no wise words around this. Maybe I'll have more after this afternoon. I hope it helps that I understand totally.
poster:Daisym
thread:500036
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050521/msgs/501773.html