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Re: ask yourself this... » pinkeye

Posted by Tamar on May 17, 2005, at 17:31:55

In reply to Re: ask yourself this... » sunny10, posted by pinkeye on May 17, 2005, at 16:26:02

> Thanks Sunny.
>
> But my husband is really a nice guy. I would say even better than me as a person.

Well.. except that he is physically violent towards you.

> That is what makes me think twice.

The confusing thing is that nice people can do bad things. He might well be nice, but I have to admit, I think violence towards a partner is unacceptable behavior, no matter how good he may be in other respects.

> Maybe it is just me who is making him angry. I really don't know the right approach. If I tell my T here, she says walk away from the marriage. But I know in India it is lot more tolerated, and people won't divorce people just because they get physically violent.

Is that partly an economic issue? Certainly in circumstances where it's economically harder for a woman to leave a man, violence is usually more tolerated. And no matter how angry you make him, he has no right to hit you.

> I wish I could tell my ex T and get his opinion. He might know better. He knew it used to happen before, but I didn't really make a big issue out of it. So I guess he thought it was an one time affair. And my husband is very stressed now, and I am hoping he will change if he gets a chance to live in India. I don't know.

Pinkeye, it usually gets worse instead of better, no matter what the circumstances. Did you know that most domestic violence begins when a woman is pregnant? I know you're not planning children at the moment, but if he's already violent now, what will you be willing to put up with if you do get pregnant?

Sorry to sound so negative, but I hate it when people I care about are being hurt, especially in this way. I just don't see that there's any excuse for violence.


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