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Re: But I don't want to be a jerk

Posted by sunny10 on May 18, 2005, at 15:43:52

In reply to But I don't want to be a jerk » Dinah, posted by pinkeye on May 18, 2005, at 12:57:42

but it takes TWO to work out a marriage...

The biggest problem that I see is that once you learn something, you can't unlearn it. And to live against acquired values will make you depressed.

You've now, perhaps unfortunately for your situation, learned that women are equal to men and that the way that women are treated in your part of India is not acceptable in other parts of the world.

And you won't be able to just "forget it"... you can't. Humans just aren't programmed that way.

Plus- you're not a jerk. He's a jerk for demeaning you. You can physically go back to India and "be there" for your husband while he goes through the pain of losing a parent, but the truth is, in your heart, you won't really be able to "be there emotionally" for him because you've realized that he has never been there emotionally for you and you have a right to a mate whom respects you. You can't unlearn this fact.

I'm so sorry that this is so hard on you. Doing what's right for ourselves after learning it late in life is so difficult when you've got a million inner critic voices in your head telling you to be a "good girl".... ask Gabbi-X-2, she knows what I mean- and I've got them, too....

My heart goes out to you, pinkeye. I am trying to send you strength...

sunny10


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