Posted by Susan47 on April 19, 2005, at 21:37:35
In reply to Re: Women and ADD (Long) » Susan47, posted by pinkeye on April 19, 2005, at 19:02:00
When I was an infant, okay, and I know this sounds ridiculous, to go back this far, but the fact is, and I think it's true for a lot of us, is we didn't feel like we were supposed to survive. So it makes sense that you pick that up from me. The will to live has really never been acknowledged, I think, you know? I give up very easily. Although I know one person who would disagree, because I fight to have that feeling, the desire to live, the will to wish for something better in life. I see old ladies everywhere, alone, decrepit, and old men, the same.. even when they have each other, you know it's not going to be for much longer. And I wonder, what is the goddamn point of getting THERE? Hell, I'm there NOW, and I have children who are young enough to need me.. but it isn't enough, it really isn't enough. Just the thought that I'm not going to add more pain to their lives, but I'm adding pain just be being here anyway, because I can be very rejecting. Very rejecting. And my children feel it, And that's just worse than my even being their mother.
poster:Susan47
thread:486419
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050409/msgs/486690.html