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Re: the longing » namaste

Posted by daisym on April 15, 2005, at 20:15:53

In reply to the longing, posted by namaste on April 15, 2005, at 19:59:37

I think many of us feel this way. Where else do you get someone's undivided attention and concern? And almost virtual acceptance. No matter what you tell them, they aren't shocked, they allow you talk about it and you don't have to make them feel better about your feelings. (I say we don't have to, though many of us suffer from care taking compulsions.)

I wrote a post a while back that discussed the fact that therapy makes you lonely. You want what you have in the consulting room in your real life. For me, it is about that intimate connection and not having to prove that I deserve to be cared about. (I still struggle with this, though I'm starting to believe it.) And the stuff we tell our therapists is gut stuff -- not the everyday, ordinary lunch conversation stuff. So it is hard to leave with your guts still hanging out and not have that person to talk to about it. Therapy hang-overs -- they are almost as bad as the real kind.

I've often written that most of us need therapy for therapy. I think that is why Babble is so valuable.

btw, I lament this need I have to make sure my therapist is still out there, that I miss him and find some days impossibly hard when we don't touch base. I call this working on "therapist-permanance" and therapy separation anxiety, two of the hardest toddler developmental phases. He assures me that this will change, I won't need him and miss him as much as therapy progresses. I sure hope he is right!

Distraction is best, or for me journaling. What have you found that works?

 

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poster:daisym thread:484873
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050409/msgs/484876.html