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Re: Psychological holding happyflower

Posted by Dinah on April 10, 2005, at 11:04:11

In reply to Re: Psychological holding, posted by happyflower on April 9, 2005, at 23:28:49

I'm not sure if they *do* anything specifically or not. If they're taught the skill in therapy school or not. Maybe one of the therapists on the board could answer that.

It does have something to do with them. They have to be fully there, fully focussed on you, and with an open and receptive stance. If they're preoccupied or badgering you about something, it ain't gonna happen.

But maybe it's got something to do with us too. Maybe we have to be in the right frame of mind as much as they do. Maybe we need to be open and trusting and willing to seek them. I'm pretty sure it never happened during the first five years of my therapy. I may have gotten glimpses, but not the full thing.

And I *know* I'm now addicted to it. I can't imagine ever leaving it willingly, even though it's by no means a part of every session or even most sessions. As my therapist says (not about this of course) irregular and unpredictable rewards are the most effective sort.

I've talked to him about it in general before, but I have never talked to him about it while it was happening because it would be unthinkable to pull myself out of his metaphorical lap and analyze it.

Maybe I'll ask him about it next time I see him. I am relatively sure there will be no holding that time.

Also, for me it never had anything to do with disclosure at all. Some of the times I felt most held were silly little moments that had more to do with relationship than with me alone.




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