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Re: bad outcome - please help!

Posted by fallsfall on April 8, 2005, at 21:36:15

In reply to bad outcome - please help!, posted by octavia on April 8, 2005, at 21:10:17

Yes, this is the right place. I wish I could respond to your entire post, but for now, let me just make two points.

> About 9 months ago things started to go funny. He'd have bouts of yawning [for example, 70% of sessions for about a month]. It hurt my feelings but I wasn't sure what to say, especially since it may have had nothing to do with me. The last period of yawning I finally said to him, "Ok, you've been yawning a lot lately AGAIN. I guess I'm boring you." He said, "Yes. Let me explain something. Sometimes people feel anxious and they are subconsciously suppressing thoughts that are more exciting than what's going on currently they get bored. Oh I see time is up." Holy cow. I staggered out of there not knowing which end was up. So he's thinking exciting thoughts. I didn't know quite how to bring it up again.
I think that he might have been saying that *you* were the one with the exciting thoughts that you weren't talking about. I seem to remember reading that therapists can get bored when their patients are being (consciously or unconsciously) resistant. He obviously didn't explain it well to you...

This sounds like the kind of situation where you need to sit down and talk to him about how this is affecting you. Bring in your post and read it to him. I know it is *SO* hard to bring these things up, but that is the only way that you will find out what his side of the story really is. That is the only way you can figure out how much of what you are feeling is realistic, and how much might be colored by your past.

It sounds like you really want this therapy to work. So fight for it. Don't let it just peter out. If he doesn't have time or effort for you, you need to know that and find someone who does. If you (like me...), however, tend to read things into situations when they really aren't there - he can help you sort that out.

It is hard to have these discussions, but in my experience, it is really worthwhile.

Good luck.




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