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Re: Afraid of my therapist, Acting like a scared child Tamar

Posted by Poet on April 6, 2005, at 18:49:38

In reply to Re: Afraid of my therapist, Acting like a scared child Poet, posted by Tamar on April 5, 2005, at 20:36:04

Hi Tamar,

I am convinced I am a therapy failure. My T keeps asking what I think therapy is, because what I am doing is not failure.

What we are talking about (or I am staring at my shoes or the wall about) has me more frightened than usual. I have never been a blurter. I revealed a big secret (CSA) and now that the secret is out, I'm afraid to talk about it. I'm definitely afraid of the pain the old wound gives me.

I think of my relationship with my T as adult-adult, too, but you have a good point about being in a child place when talking about childhood events.

I do feel less afraid this week than last week when my T said that I am doing therapy right. I haven't been obsessing as much about what to talk about. I haven't written much down to hand her, either, so maybe a little part of me is trying hard to get the rest of me to realize that it is the content I fear, not my therapist.

I think I know what to talk about tomorrow. What I am really afraid of. Then again that scares me. Maybe I'm not a therapy failure, just a big therapy coward.

Thanks for your insight and help.

Poet

 

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