Posted by mair on March 29, 2005, at 8:53:37
In reply to Tough Times, trigger, posted by daisym on March 28, 2005, at 23:57:40
I'll echo what Sunny said - I think you've been an inspiration to lots of people on this Board, certainly to me. I know how tough it is to lead the double life you lead, but you do it so responsibly.
I wish I could say something (anything) of help. I told my pdoc the other day that when I think of killing myself I force myself to visualize my children. Both she and my T have pointed out to me that those who have lost a parent to suicide bear scars that never go away and that are different from the scars left when your parent dies from illness or accident. So it's not just a matter of whether your sons need you (of course they do) but also a matter of their need that you not leave them in this manner.
Figuring out the sleep stuff is huge, at least for me because I function so poorly when I'm sleep deprived and those middle of the night hours can be awful.
You have a wonderful T who is clearly willing to allow you to lean on him however much you need to. Please do without guilt or shame. And remember, therapy is a process and sometimes things have to be bad for them to be better.
Be safe
mair
poster:mair
thread:476889
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050329/msgs/477147.html