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Re: accepting the wrong me » B2chica

Posted by gardenergirl on March 15, 2005, at 16:40:16

In reply to accepting the wrong me, posted by B2chica on March 15, 2005, at 10:18:33

Hi B2C,
That sounds like a terrible dilemma. It also sounds not all that uncommon. If you've been living with the "you" you know for a long time, it makes sense to me that a new "you" would be unknown and scary. Lots of folks prefer the known to the unknown. Being ambivalent about change is normal.

What might help is to look at the costs and benefits of potential change. I know this sounds very pragmatic. But it's one of the ways to help someone move from being ambivalent about change to being more committed one way or the other. Try writing out all the things that keep you how you are....what benefits are there to being you as you are now? And what costs or consequences are there? Be brutally honest on both sides. And then what potential benefits and costs might there be to a new you? Again, be brutally honest. This might be something you and your T can work on, too. Because if your T is working towards change and you are not committed to it, you are at cross purposes.

Whatever you decide, I wish you peace and wellness. I like you, AND I think you can be better.

Take care, sweetie.
gg

 

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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050315/msgs/471400.html