Posted by Susan47 on March 15, 2005, at 14:15:32
In reply to Re: Resurfacing of old hurts » Susan47, posted by pinkeye on March 15, 2005, at 13:51:26
Mo-ti-va-tion.
Mo, as in motility.
Hmm. Sperm have motility.
I could quit if I had the right.. male friend.
Are we on the right track, here? Oh well, it's a track, anyway. And I do agree with your theory of motivation, just my belief that my children aren't really being hurt by my drug use, that's what's stopping me you see, as using them for motivation. Because the truth is, I'm more emotionally stable when I'm using .. stable in a Good way, I have more patience, I'm happy, I feel self-confident (except when I've done too much accidentally, then it goes the opposite way, not good, paranoia you know). So then at those times it can be a bit overwhelming, and I always ask myself, I say Susan, why did you feel the need to take too much? Because you knew you had enough already, if you could just be patient the good feeling will come, but then bam, panic sets in because I'm afraid the good feeling will go or won't come in time, you know, and I end up having a couple puffs when I promised myself I'd wait .. and then suddenly, it was too much and I have to sit on my mind, so to speak, I have to keep the lid on when it threatens to come off and spin out of control, into crazy, and that then becomes a real challenge, which is in itself, once again, very exciting, a way of feeling something. I'm so very glad I have a therapist I just have to HAVE to find a way to pay for her.
poster:Susan47
thread:469720
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050315/msgs/471342.html