Posted by pinkeye on March 11, 2005, at 19:21:11
In reply to Re: Resurfacing of old hurts » pinkeye, posted by Susan47 on March 11, 2005, at 18:58:21
My old therpist didn't have the luxury of time to dig up all the stuff. And I think what he did made up for nearly 80 - 90 % betterment. Only when you want to achieve the final 10 %, maybe some digging up is needed. I think that is precisely what my current therapist is doing. She is trying to remove the final things that are holding me back. And I think it is helping even if the process feels horrible.
I had the same pattern of behaviour.. Some time I would behave like a full blown adult, and sometimes like a 10 year old kid. I think I conveniently switch my ego states and I am beginning to realize that whenever things get too emotional for me, I switch back to the 10 year old.. especially when I realize somebody is not liking me and I want them to like me - I become a 10 year old. I am realizing it now, that I am doing that with everyone. When I feel down, I become a child, so people would comfort me and love me. I think it was a strategy I picked up with my dad to avoid his wrath and anger and to protect myself.
> I know some therapists believe it doesn't help to dig up the old stuff, they teach coping methods and try and get you to move on. Maybe that works for some, but not me and maybe not for you either. It sounds like your old therapist did help you move on for a while; maybe that's all though, maybe it wouldn't have lasted because maybe, perhaps you're one of those people who needs to re-process everything differently. Some of us seem to go into different states as we're learning, for instance I know there were times in my relationship with my last therapist where I was very child-like, sometimes disconcertingly (in my mind) so. And near the end of my relationship with his telephone, I became very child-like again in my loving of his image before I was able to bring some deep inner resources to the fore, resources that I believe helped my brain develop those parts that were stuck, or maybe scattered, and bring them together into something I was able to finally use.
> And maybe the whole thing was an illusion.
> Something I created, to bring about the necessary changes.
>
> And for you, maybe bringing this stuff up with the new therapist is a mistake. But perhaps it isn't, because it sounds like you're still being held back by something deeper, something your last T didn't touch. What changes have you undergone since the last therapist? Are you where you want to be?
poster:pinkeye
thread:469720
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050305/msgs/469838.html