Posted by messadivoce on January 17, 2005, at 12:06:40
In reply to Any impressions of my therapists boundaries?, posted by Dinah on January 17, 2005, at 10:42:01
<<While I was bemused because for the most part I think he has boundaries of iron. That's why I always have trouble believing he actually cares anything at all about me. The very few boundary violations I recall are the things that made me feel that maybe he didn't just see me as his 9 am Friday. Not that I don't like the boundaries. I really do. The boundaries are what makes me feel safe being myself. But they don't lead to any warm fuzzies.>>
I'm with mair, I think your T has maintained very professional boundaries, for the most part (I mean, you admit he did slip up a couple times).
I don't think it's a boundary violation on his part to make you feel like you're more than his 9am Friday. I think that's actually a sign of successful therapy. It's a huge paradox, but I think a T can maintain very professional boundaries in a practical way while still making the client feel valued and cared about. I agree with you that the boundaries provide an element of safety, because however you respond to his genuine care about you (or howevever much he may like you as a person), the relationship cannot progress "naturally" (socially, etc). I think the boundaries make it safe to *feel* the warm fuzzies. So it is possible to have both.
poster:messadivoce
thread:443118
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050117/msgs/443137.html