Posted by Dinah on January 17, 2005, at 10:42:01
We were talking boundaries today, and he thinks someone from the outside might think he bends the boundaries too much. While I was bemused because for the most part I think he has boundaries of iron. That's why I always have trouble believing he actually cares anything at all about me. The very few boundary violations I recall are the things that made me feel that maybe he didn't just see me as his 9 am Friday. Not that I don't like the boundaries. I really do. The boundaries are what makes me feel safe being myself. But they don't lead to any warm fuzzies.
When I think of our relationship, I never think in terms of boundary violations or how much he cares about me. I always think in terms of how *hard* I've worked at this relationship. How hard we've both worked at it to get over the inherent problems with working with someone so different.
I think in terms of safe harbors. And I think in terms of slightly withholding professionalism with few exceptions.
poster:Dinah
thread:443118
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050117/msgs/443118.html