Posted by Crazy_Charlie on January 11, 2005, at 7:09:06
In reply to Called T - VERY, VERY BAD, posted by Skittles on January 11, 2005, at 2:47:36
Dear you...
Your psychologist should be able to cope with this, she should be trained in things like this happening... try to calm down. She probably has standard procedures about being paged (that if she is paged and dont get a response when calling back she automaticly call the police).In my study I learned that it was very rare that the patients actually called you unless it really was important, and I guess that is what she has learned too... and from reading what you write, it probably WAS important. She knew that, and got worried, but that is a GOOD thing, and not a bad thing.
With your therapist, honesty should be one importantt thing, and not causing you problems. Do you think you would be abl eto take up this issue with her next time you talk with her? Tell her that you feel really really bad about making her upset and go through your thoughts about it? I am sure you would feel a lot better if you could explain her what you really wanted to say, what had happened so that you could not answer the phone, and how bad you felt about it afterwards.
Trust me, a therapist has had a lot worse episodes with her patients like that, though I think I would feel almost the same as you if I had done the same. (I SMS'd my t once, and was so ashamed about it that I hardly could look him in the eyes afterwards. It was only a "have a good weekend" message and he said he was happy to have it, but it felt like sh*t anyway, so I didn't do it anymore- it's like stepping over a border).
Last year I was working as a clinical psychologist in a prison in Norway, and one of my patients were a suicidal 29 year old. After he was out of the prison, and I was back in the Netherlands, I got a phonecall from him. He said he just wanted to hear how I were, and even though I didn't feel entirely comfortable talkingg with him as if we were friends, I did it anyway. I had spent quite a lot of time with him, and I knew he would apreciate it. In the end of the conversation he tells me that he only called to say goodbye. I freak out, and stay freaked out for quite a long time. I try to find someone or something that can help him, but not being "in service" in Norway anymore made it completely impossible. I tried calling him everyday for a long time, but he didn't answer. At some point I called a friend of mine and made him go inside the files of the governement 8which he had access to), and check whether my ex patient was notified as dead or not. he wasn't, so I realized he had done it just to create some fuzz.
But you know what? It was ok. I knew he was still alive, and looking back I guess he just needed that someone cared a bit. Now that I am done with all the worrying and all, I think it was good that he called me, because I'd rather want the chance to try to do something than finding out later that he actually killed himself and no one tried to help him. It is ok becaus eI know it is his mental problems that makes him do things like that, and he can't help it himself. I am sure he had thought about calling me many times without actually doing it, so yes, it is totally ok.
I am sure your therapist will say the same: relax, it is ok :)
Good luck.
CC
poster:Crazy_Charlie
thread:440519
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050111/msgs/440556.html