Posted by daisym on October 30, 2004, at 16:10:56
In reply to Re: carrying it with you, posted by shrinking violet on October 30, 2004, at 13:48:45
I think you've hit on something here...that feeling good part that happens when you have support in between sessions or a really bonding session that brings you closer. Sustaining this good feeling is hard because as soon as you get back to work, it dissipates. Maybe our definition of safety should be expanded to include faith that we will feel good and cared for again, even as we simultanously feel anxious about what therapy brings up.
For my self, I've figured out that support feels good and therapy hurts. When we are working, I feel anxious and stressed and frustrated and weepy. When he is supportive, the little kid parts of me show up and say "ahhhh." But too much support gets the adult nervous. Achieving a balance has been critical to moving forward. When we get off balance, or out of sync (I want support and he wants to work) it is harder to internalize him in between sessions. Sometimes I'm just looking for that warm and fuzzy feeling. I also think that he isn't working as hard to facilitate the attachment, because I AM attached, however insecurely. But I miss that in some ways too. Working on the attachment has become part of therapy...
Still...it is reassuring to know that the connection is strong even in between sessions. I had a hard day where I picked up the phone to call him three times and hung up before leaving a message. I told him that I had done this and he said, "huh, you were on my mind yesterday. I must have felt you needing me." Yup, good strong connection. :)
poster:daisym
thread:408593
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041026/msgs/409281.html