Posted by Pfinstegg on October 30, 2004, at 0:40:35
In reply to Re: Safety » Kay-Len, posted by Poet on October 29, 2004, at 23:16:22
When you've had these horrible, traumatizing experiences, it's the most intelligent choice to be wary and lacking in trust. From the point of view of your childhood selves, it would be reckless and dangerous to just walk into a therapist's office and start feeling trusting and secure. My T. pointed that out to me a number of times, and always emphasized that safety and security would be a goal of therapy, not a requirement for it. He allows me to feel as unsafe and insecure as I really am, with no pressure to trust him. I believe he feels that it happens slowly and naturally over the course of therapy. Poet, I think it's particularly hard when a therapist makes any sort of demand for trust. I know I would feel very inadequate (and criticized) if mine did that. He seems to know that people have to gradually "grow" it, and the timing isn't under anyone's control. The important thing is that you have it in your heart- in time you'll find a way to give it.
poster:Pfinstegg
thread:408593
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041026/msgs/408981.html