Posted by vwoolf on September 9, 2004, at 14:39:26
In reply to I don't know, I feel like I've made him into this, posted by Susan47 on September 9, 2004, at 13:34:16
You know, Susan, my T used a metaphor the other day to explain my desperate transference feelings towards my Pdoc, which I found very helpful and non-persecutory. You know how when baby ducklings hatch, they imprint in their brains the memory of the first moving object they see, and they then follow that object obsessively in the conviction that safety and protection are to be found there. Well, in therapy it is a bit like that, when we first begin to trust someone for the first time.
I certainly have this very basic, primitive conviction that my Pdoc can somehow hold me and protect me. Whenever the going gets rough, I start to obsess about him. The sexual angle I add in because that’s what I do with everything (i.e. add sex), but it is merely coincidental.
I find this metaphor helpful, because it explains the primordial pain I feel. This connection really hurts, in the most profound way. Like all your ooohhhhhhs and aaahhhhs. It’s not in the head at all, even though the relationship may not be real, but much, much deeper. The metaphor also helps me overcome the pain, to understand it in this way. I no longer feel guilty about it - in fact I can feel quite good and caring towards myself, and choose at the same time not to drive around near his rooms or call his answering machine.
poster:vwoolf
thread:388716
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040905/msgs/388768.html