Posted by Susan47 on August 6, 2004, at 20:47:42
In reply to Re: Hi JenStar for Susan, posted by starlight on August 6, 2004, at 12:43:22
Thanks for your words. I believe I've heard "hypervigilance" mentioned in relation to myself in the past. Hmm. Okay.
How does my hypervigilance, then, contribute to manipulation? I'm interested in that aspect, because a part of me always worries that another part of me is trying to manipulate someone for something. I can't stand that distrust in myself. Sometimes it's so easy to see other people manipulate someone; you can really see through them, even though that person might be completely unaware of what they're doing; but something about it strikes me still as dishonest (is that oxymoronic, unaware and dishonest?), and I don't want that for myself *or* anybody around me. I like to think the people around me are strong enough to withstand any b***sh** I try to throw their way, and will definitely call me on it should they see that in me. Yuck. I mean yuck, that is just so gross. I'm so scared it's me. Help!!
How do we adults, who were trained to be hypervigilant as kids in order to survive that time, put it away so that we can trust without having to feel manipulative and scared as adults? I don't know, maybe I'm just being manipulative.
poster:Susan47
thread:372818
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040805/msgs/374881.html