Posted by DaisyM on July 13, 2004, at 11:00:33
In reply to Re: A New Fear » Elle2021, posted by Dinah on July 13, 2004, at 9:32:17
What you are feeling is really normal. I think it stems from two things.
One is that we all tend to compare ourselves to the worse possible case scenario we can think of. And since we survived whatever happened to us, we discount it. My therapist is really big on "your experience is your experience and your reaction is unique." So someone else might have had the exact same thing happen to them and gone completely in the opposite way I did. So try (it is really hard) to not minimize what happened to you. Minimizing, by the way, is another way of hiding it too. You are making it easier, more OK for the person you are telling it to.The other thing that happens is that there is a part of us that is so protective that even though we told something really awful or hard, the protector voice takes over and says, "gee, now that I've said it, it wasn't so bad. So I can stop talking about it now. Besides, I don't think she (your therapist) is really interested, thinks it is a big deal, etc. etc. So I should just stop talking about it now."
The fear is huge. Old secrets are loaded with old pain. Please know that having just been through this, I still struggle with telling more, going over it again and again and my Therapist has been nothing but receptive and supportive. So you aren't alone. If I can help, please reach out. Babble really, really helped me when I first starting letting stuff out.
Be gentle with yourself.
poster:DaisyM
thread:365569
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040703/msgs/365643.html